SkyMall + booze = drunkMall

Probably the only reason I'm not crushed under a boulder of debt right now is that my traveling days came to an end just as in-flight WiFi became a thing.

Falling into the category of people who need to drink before getting on an airplane, giving me a copy of SkyMall and the ability to apply a credit card to outrageous purchases right then and there would have been much too great a temptation for me to resist.

Indeed, if you Google "craziest drunk online purchases" or some such similar query, you'll get a good laugh out of the things your fellow Americans decide they must own while in a drunken state: an entire pallet of Campbell's soup, bagpipes, 10,000 ladybugs - you name it. The true wonder here, though, is that: until now, inebriated e-shoppers had to seek out these products. Until now, there hasn't been a catalog site designed with the buzzed browser in mind, putting everything in on place.

Until drunkMall...

The Five Reasons Your Band Isn't Going to "Make It"

I live in Nashville, Tennessee. What actors are to Los Angeles, musicians are to Nashville. It's a total infestation. This, combined with many years as a touring musician, has afforded me the opportunity of seeing countless people make gigantic mistakes in their efforts to "Make It."

In this post, I'll tell you five things you're doing to sabotage your chances at The Big Time. And, no, Number One isn't that you suck. Statistically, it's safe to say your band sounds terrible. But that didn't stop all of the shitty bands currently on top of the radio charts, so there must be more to it than that, yeah? Assuming your band can all play the same song at once, let me give you some tips on how to drop the attitude, quit annoying the people you need, understand SEO, build your legacy and rise above the rest of the local scene.

[UPDATE: Since writing this article, I've been added to several lists of "music blogger emails" sold by scam artists. I'm not a music blogger and I almost never write about new music. I'm never going to listen to your band's music and I'm certainly not going to write about it. Honestly, this is probably doing you a favor because if I did it would almost definitely be a bad review. If that sounds harsh, allow me to offer you my sincere lack of apology. The same segment of this website where my email address can be found has a specific request to not send me promo materials for musical acts. To ignore this request is actually illegal but, perhaps even worse than that, makes you and your band (or your clients, if you're a "publicist") look like total assholes. Stop doing this and keep reading this post.]

This Is What Happened to the David Allan Coe Band, or: Becoming the Centre of the Universe

[Despite my clarifications within this article, many people seem to think I'm lambasting my father and criticising his career. That is not the case. I'm a bigger David Allan Coe fan than you are - hands down, no question. I've posted my Top 50 DAC songs. Click that link. You'll probably learn some things you don't know.]

Today is my birthday. I've been breathing for 29 years, of which this last has brought monumental change, the type that brings about reevaluation of those preceding. There is, though, one thing I am asked about every single day: why am I no longer playing guitar for the DAC band?

So this is what happened.